IF SIRIUSMO MADE PORN…

Siriusmo. The pervert.

According to an unreliable source close to G.L.I.S.C.O, the excellent Siriusmo has confirmed that every track he has ever released is, in fact, part of a lifelong mission to provide a decent soundtrack to the modern porn film in an attempt to increase viewing pleasure for the discerning dance music fan. The source was also able to leak the initial synopsis for his first project, due out in May 3018. ‘Like’ his Facebook page, Siriusmo Does Porn, to get up to 11 irrelevant updates a day.

So, here I am in my bedsit, just in after a hard day’s work at my generic office job. I’ve
just taken off my serious but sexy glasses and loosened my practical and entirely appropriate miniskirt to reveal my equally office-appropriate stockings/suspenders combo, and undone a few buttons of my tight fitting blouse which, if you have unnaturally large breasts and permanently hard nipples, really does tend to strain.

I’m just settling on the sofa with a glass of Lambrini when, what should you know, there’s a knock on the door! I sigh exaggeratedly and remove my blouse in despair. Who could it be?

Why, it’s the handsome generic manual labourer from next door and – silly him – he’s forgotten his keys! And his shirt.

I grudgingly let him in without reminding him that Mildred from no.5 has a spare set, and
apologise in a strange exaggerated tone that the boiler’s on the blink so unfortunately he might get a little warm. He agrees that it is indeed quite warm and decides to take off his trousers, at which point we find ourselves inexplicably in the throes of a noisy sex session.

But, when we’ve only had time to try out three different positions and two fetishes which, luckily, we both share, there’s ANOTHER knock on the door, would you believe it, so I pour the rest of the Lambrini over myself in despair and go to answer it.

Well, THIS time it’s my two sexy female flatmates, who I temporarily forgot about, and who aren’t lesbians but do like to touch each other whenever we have company, particularly if the company happens to be naked with an appendage akin to that of a small horse.

It’s a little inconvenient, but my handsome and tireless neighbour is thankfully very accommodating and invites them to join the fun in a strange exaggerated tone.

It actually works out rather well, as Sexy Female Flatmate No.1 has just discovered an amazing new skill involving an empty bottle of Lambrini and some applaudable muscle control, which adds a nice new dimension to the whole affair.

Unfortunately, we’re not sure how to end the whole debacle as both our handsome neighbour (sponsored by Red Bull’s new brand of Viagra, Red Viagrull, coming to a Tesco near you in May 3042) and ourselves are showing no signs of getting tired, so we decide to simply dim the lights as the music squelches on towards its electronic climax.

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4 Responses to IF SIRIUSMO MADE PORN…

  1. femuscle says:

    genius

  2. Steven Coillet says:

    This is Steven Coillet approved!

  3. Steven Coillet says:

    so fucking sexy i cant stop jacking off

  4. Steven Coillet says:

    sorry wrong window how do i deltet this?

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